Stepping out of the shadows of validation and into the glow of self-love wasn’t an overnight process for the gorgeous Gabrielle Union. Behind her empowering Instagram captions and exhilarating selfies lies a journey of transformation that involved healing past rejections, therapeutic sessions, and heartfelt conversations with family. Union’s story, which she revealed in a recent episode of Netflix’s Skip Intro podcast, offers inspiration and a deep dive into the journey to self-acceptance.
In her early days, Union pursued opportunities in the limelight, responding to casting calls for modeling, auditions for minor roles, and beauty contests. Often met with closed doors, her persistence emanated from a deep-seated desire to be deemed attractive and validated.
“I just wanted it so badly,” Union confessed, explaining that her craving went beyond landing roles. “I didn’t care if you thought I was a good actor, I just wanted to know that someone outside of my parents thinks I am cute, attractive, lovely, whatever.”
When she faced rejection based on her looks, it felt like a punch to her self-esteem, making her feel “exposed as hideous.”
Even as her acting career took off, Union discovered that the insatiable desire to be viewed as “amazing, beautiful,” and similar labels were not quelled. When it was suggested she might have unresolved “daddy issues,” she sought therapy. During her healing process, Union discovered that she was projecting a deep-seated need for paternal validation onto her work. This revelation led her to confront her father.
During a heart-to-heart with her father, she asked him why he never complimented her looks. His response: “Pretty doesn’t pay the bills.” His upbringing taught him that physical attractiveness was of little help in a world that demanded more tangible skills and talents. This conversation made Union rethink her deep-rooted insecurities.
“The more I got into breaking ancestral trauma bonds, the more I very recently have just been like, ‘I don’t think it’s possible to truly love yourself completely when you’re addicted to being chosen,'” she reflected. Union realized she had to detach from the opinions of others. Her truth existed independent of anyone else’s reactions or responses.
This enlightenment liberated Union from the unending cycle of seeking validation, whether from a man, a job, an opportunity, or a magazine cover. It helped her embrace her unapologetic, authentic self. Now, she proudly declares, “I’m good, in every hood, being exactly who the hell I am.” At 50, she’s finally realized that being herself is more than enough. And that’s a revelation worth celebrating.
