Picture this, ladies. After a few years of dating your significant other, you’ve started dreaming of that perfect proposal. You’ve shared enchanting stories of your friend’s engagement, full of balloons and a sweet “I love you” hidden in a romantic surprise. You wait in anticipation for your very own grand gesture, but instead, your beau simply pops the question on the couch during a TV commercial. That was my mom’s story, a family anecdote that still has us in fits of giggles.
Growing up, it was always taken for granted that it’s the man who must ask the woman for her hand in marriage. It’s an unspoken rule, almost as fundamental as matching your bag to your shoes. And despite the progressive strides we’ve made in dismantling patriarchal traditions, I find it quite surprising that the same protocol remains unchallenged.
Amidst the empowering waves of feminism and increasing awareness about gender equality, sexism, and the wage gap, it strikes me as odd that the ritual of marriage proposals seems to have remained untouched. My social media feeds are flooded with excited women – self-proclaimed feminists, too – who are elated to have been asked for marriage. The narrative around ‘taking the next step’ still revolves around if the man will propose, when, and how.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for joyous celebrations – I once even found myself sobbing behind a bush as my brother-in-law proposed to my sister. Yet, I can’t help but wonder about this deeply ingrained tradition where the man takes control over the fate of the woman in the marriage proposition. The symbolism itself seems far removed from our modern-day reality, where we trade the high school “Will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend” scenario for more mature, mutual discussions about commitment and exclusivity.
The step from dating to engagement is a monumental one – a seismic leap that deserves thoughtful deliberation and mutual agreement. It begs the question, why is this milestone any different? Why are we not changing this narrative? Are these conversations even happening?
Traditions are beautiful, adding a sense of continuity to our lives. But traditions that continue to marginalize women and undermine the LGBTQ+ community seem more archaic than ever. As fashion-forward women, we’re used to breaking norms and setting trends, so why not this one?
Is questioning this practice being overly critical? Or is it a valid reflection on our evolving society, where gender roles are being continually redefined? Why do you think we’re still clinging onto this tradition? And, most importantly, are we okay with it? Let’s open up the floor, ladies. What’s your take on this?
